i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
