I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
