her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
