White coat. Heels.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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