Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
