I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
