Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
