please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
