My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
