If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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