Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize