i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
