The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
