Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
