you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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