He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He did a backflip because drugs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
