I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
