I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize