Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
