so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize