I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
