just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
