I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
