During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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