Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
