You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize