office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
