I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
