At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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