exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
