ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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