i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
