I hate your face
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
