I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
