My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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