OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize