I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
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