he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize