I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I need water and some morals
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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