I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
