I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize