We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
