yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
