I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
