normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm bleeding and have questions
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
