Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
