i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
nutella sex= disaster
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
