I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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