I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
