I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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