does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
