my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
