Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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