hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
