Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
vagina is talking i cant
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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