would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
