You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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