Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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