please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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