but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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