I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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