nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
