you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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